And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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