HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize