When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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