I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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