my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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