Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
