Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
