dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
