the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
