Already got asked if we're dating
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Randomize
