I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
