I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize