the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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