I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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