I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
