ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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