PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Randomize
