respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
