apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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