Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize