I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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