The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Randomize
