LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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