Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Blood and glitter go together right?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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