Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
