There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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