names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
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