what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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