every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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