Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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