i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
