Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize