It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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