He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
