Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
