Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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