you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
