I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
