Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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