Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
