there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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