Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
