Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
