If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
