You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
