I want to stick my p in your. b.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
