Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
