so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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