I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
