I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
