the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize