make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
