She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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