he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
