Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
