quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
