I wish I could punch you in the face.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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