Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
