yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize