allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
