You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
