hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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